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入職前後的分別

進入公司前

老闆:   萬分歡迎,無左你, 我地公司肯定好大分別!
職員:   如果工作量太多,我會辭職的。
老闆:   放心,我唔會比咁樣既事情發生!
職員:   我逢星期六日可以休息嗎?
老闆:   當然啦!哩個係底線!
職員:   平時會日日OT 到淩晨嗎?
老闆:   無可能,邊個話你聽架?
職員:   有餐費補貼嗎?
老闆:   唔洗講啦,絕對比同行都高!
職員:   有無做死人既風險?
老闆:   唔會!你點會有咁既念頭?
職員:   公司會定期搞旅遊嗎?
老闆:   哩個係我地明文規定!
職員:   那我需要準時返工嗎?
老闆:   唔會,睇情況啦。
職員:   人工呢?會準時出糧嗎?
老闆:   一定係啦!
職員:   所有工作都係新員工做嗎?
老闆:   邊有可能,你上面仲有好多資深既同事!
職員:   如果管理職位有空缺,我可以參與競爭嗎?
老闆:   唔洗問啦,哩個一直係我地公司賴以生存既方式!
職員:   你唔會係呃我掛?

進入公司後    ......  由下面讀返上去

ME and MY BOSS

When I Take a long time to finish,
I am slow,
When my boss takes a long time,
he is thorough


When I don't do it,
I am lazy,
When my boss does not do it,
he is busy,


When I do something without being told,
I am trying to be smart,
When my boss does the same,
he takes the initiative,


When I please my boss,
I am apple polishing,
When my boss pleases his boss,
He is cooperating,


When I make a mistake,
I am an idiot.
When my boss makes a mistake,
He's only human.


When I am out of the office,
I am wondering around.
When my boss is out of the office,
He's on business.


When I am on a day off sick,
I am always sick.
When my boss is a day off sick,
He must be very ill.


When I apply for leave,
I must be going for an interview .
When my boss applies for leave,
it's because he's overworked


When I do good,
my boss never remembers,
When I do wrong,
he never forgets

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深夜,最後一班公車,司機回頭看,還有一位白衣女士,坐在最後一排。

司機繼續開車,看看倒車鏡,那女的沒了,大驚!急剎車回頭一看,女人還是坐在原來的位子。

司機心虛的轉過頭繼續開車,小心的看看倒車鏡,女人又不見了。巨驚後急剎車,回頭一看,那女人又出現了。

司機面臨崩潰,一身冷汗轉過頭繼續開車。又看看倒車鏡,那女人又不見了。司機崩潰了,急剎車,但沒有再轉過頭去。

這時那個女人緩慢的走到了他的面前,頭髮淩亂,滿臉是血,滴在他的腳上,司機身體已經僵硬,不敢轉過頭去看她,

那女人用很低沈的聲音說: “老娘和你有仇啊…………













老娘一綁鞋帶你就急剎車,一綁鞋帶你就急剎車。

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Former Scuderia Torro Rosso driver Sebastien Bourdais has accused his former employers of sacking him by text message.

The 30-year-old Frenchman was fired last month, and replaced for the Hungarian Grand Prix by Spanish teenager Jaime Alguersuari.

"The way they got rid of me was very disappointing," Bourdais, who recently reached an out-of-court settlement with the Red Bull-owned Toro Rosso team, told the French magazine Autohebdo.

"[Red Bull owner]Dietrich Mateschitz was at the Nurburgring but he did not speak with me. He did not call me. Everything was done by SMS, which to me has no style."

Four-time Champ Car title winner Bourdais did admit some blame for hsi failure to shine in F1, however.

Admitting it was the drivers' responsibility to adapt to a car, rather than have a car designed to his needs, he said: "That was never my best strength."

逢星期日...糕-糕-糕.

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8# 古惑強


Yeah, i read about this on the news and just laughed my head off!  What a bimbo.....

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【本報綜合報道】在網上批評老闆前真要三思,英國一名女子似乎忘記老闆是她於社交網站Facebook的朋友,竟在網內說討厭工作和痛罵老闆,結果換來被「炒魷」的下場。
上周日放工回家後,林賽即在Facebook留言:「我的天!我討厭我的工作!」繼而開火用粗言穢語指其老闆經常指派她做些討厭的工作。她甚至指控名為布賴恩的上司,對她色迷迷。數小時後,布賴恩回應說:「林賽,你好﹗我估你忘了曾在網上(朋友名單中)加入了我。」

老闆留言逐點反駁
布賴恩逐項反擊林賽的指控,叫她「不要自以為是」,並指她工作了五個月,應知道他是同性戀。布賴恩指那些「討厭工作」是林賽的職務,並語帶嘲諷地提醒她尚有兩星期才通過試用期,最後加了一句:「明天不用回來。」兩人此番言論已被網友輯成電郵傳遍全球,當中還包括他們的相片。
逢星期日...糕-糕-糕.

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某晚,一個祼男叫了一輛出租車,女司機目不轉睛盯看他。
祼男大怒,吼道:你没見過祼男呀!
女司機也大怒:我看你從哪裏掏錢!

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very good!!
mArtino 發表於 2009-8-11 12:08

Martino, so this is what you tell your workers?

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正正就係我同我 老細既對話  !!

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